The Big Sister

Brenna is our oldest daughter, turning four years old days before Kara turned two. She has been the best big sister to Kara since day one loving her up and helping me with her, often times nursing her baby right next to us. Brenna has learned from watching, never one to miss a moment and with that comes the things that she's learned by simply having Kara as a baby sister. Brenna was barely two and a half when Kara had that terrible first reaction. Brenna came to the hospital with us, being so scared and protective of her baby sister.

To this day, Brenna has been protective. Brenna is a little mamma and while playing with her baby, it's not uncommon for her to stop, look carefully at the piece of "food" she's going to be giving her baby and say "Oops, no baby, this has soy in it and soy is owie on your tum-tums." This has become our newest phrase when explaining to Kara that she can't have something, while rubbing her tummy and Kara accepts this.

One of those horribly miserable days post surgery, I was beside myself as far as what to do with Kara. After talking to both doctors, we had decided it was best for her to go to the Emergency Room. At that point I wasn't quite sure how the heck we were going to get there, having a very sick Kara and an anxious Brenna home with me. I finally sat down on the couch, feeling incredibly defeated and started to cry.
Brenna looked at me: "Mom, are you crying?"
Me: Yes, Brenna, I am.
Brenna: Why are you crying Mom?
Me: Because Kara is really sick and it just makes Mommy really sad.
Brenna: But Mommy, Kara is going to be ok. You always tell me that she is going to be just fine!

This child is an amazing nurturer. I realized I need to be strong and with that, pulled myself together, was able to put Kara down for a few minutes so I could get things ready to go and off we went.

If we ask Brenna what Kara is allergic to she can get started with the list: dairy, soy, rice, oat, green beans, and pears without too much trouble. It's not uncommon for someone to ask Brenna if Kara can have a certain food or not. She pays a lot more attention than we sometimes give her credit for!

Kara recently had to have some stool tests done. Brenna was exploring in the diaper bag to see what kind of goodies we had brought home with us this time. She pulled the clear ziploc bag out of the diaper bag and asked if we got more doctor stuff at the appointment! (Before Kara's surgery, they sent us home with a package of supplies to play doctor with to get Kara used to some of that stuff.) I explained no, you can't use that, it's for a test that Kara has to have done. That wasn't enough of an explanation so I went into some detail. She asked if she needed to help me, and if she could help me. She asked this constantly until the time finally came TO help me. Brian was gone, and she sat right there, handing me the gloves, the wipes, everything I needed. She was so excited to have helped Mommy with Kara's test. Now, a few days later, she's still asking when we are going to get Kara's test back, not quite understanding the process as well as she'd like to. At what point do I say no and not let her help? I dont' think I need to, she's concerned and learning, and letting her be right along side of Kara as she goes through these things is going to make their sister bond that much tighter.

I think I am stronger because of Brenna, helping us through this. At the end of a long day of appointments, the best thing is getting home to my sweet girl, waiting patiently to snuggle with her Mamma. I LOVE this girl and for being only four years old, she has sure grown up fast!